Sorry About the Dreariness!

My life just has been a pile of knotted yarn right now and I'm trying to untangle it.  I guess it wouldn't be very honest of me to hide all of my feelings from my blog.  I just need some encouragement right now.  I need a smile, a nod of a head, a smile, a hug, a smile, some sunshine, a smile...Have I mentioned a smile?

I'm very sensitive to emotion.  I don't show it often, though.  I hate it when people are upset.  It kills me when I can't make a frown a smile.  I want to make people's lives better; not worse.  And when I annoy people, part of me is just goofing off to try and make them smile.  Sometimes I unconsciously repeat a phrase in a ridiculous voice for my own amusement.  Sometimes I annoy people out of pure boredom.  I don't irritate people on purpose to see them glare at me for repeating the same obnoxious noise.  It brings no joy to make someone upset.

You have to be truly heartless to be able to strike someone down with the intention of seeing them cry and to purposely make them hate you.  Hurtful words or fists can't create any joy.  But there is a difference between those unhelpful, hurtful words and those helpful, words that none of us want to hear.

It's getting very difficult to write this blog post because my computer just had to be by the TV.  I'm trying to explain my situation but it's very difficult with so much noise behind me.  ARGH!  And now it's time for dessert.

I just want to vent about this week because it's been such a hard one for me.  Everyone has those weeks that you just can't wait for it to end.  Right now all I want is to see flowers, sunshine, grass, and rainbows.  I just want some happiness.

This is one of those weeks that feels like it's taking a lifetime to live through.